Claws

A right to bear arms.
I write to bear arms.
My arms grow bear fur.
Bear arms with claws
Claw out your eyes
While you watch your kids die.

I wish I had bear arms.
I’d pull out your alarms.
I’d disarm your swarms
Of liars and snake charms.

Which kid would you choose
To die and to lose?
To uphold your right
To point, shoot, and fight?
Which one will it be?
Or possibly all three?
For at the end of the day
It’s always been this way.
It will never change,
Unless we take charge

So which kid do you pick?
Which one gets the nick?
Which one will now suffer?
So you can have your buffer?
Instead of a sword,
You take the easiest road.
The one mostly traveled
By fools and rich blabbers
The ones most afraid
They’d let your kids fade
In order to preserve
Their rights to be jerks.

I’d choose none of them
I’d rid of the poison
I’d shoot out my windows
I’d give away my good clothes
In order to keep
My flock of sheep
In an effort to stave
Mechanic vampires from my grave
Get those silver bullets
Shove them down your gullets
No one needs them
I’d rather feed them
To the dirt they will lie in
When my ideas fly in
When someone finally takes
Smart steps to replace
Vicious beasts with no brains
And reel in the reigns.

If we took all the stupid
Slopped in brains putrid
Smothered them with love
While they pushed and shoved
If we showed them how pleasant
Life could be if we shared shit
Wouldn’t it be nice?
Brian Wilson blinked twice.
Two times means yes,
But they changed it to no
As we were sharing our answer
They modified the show
Nothing matters anymore
No justice is served
Free speech is dead
And so are your words.

The Golden Epidural

Originally published in Twenty Bellows Matriarch: Meditations on Motherhood (2025)

The epidural was created by someone who cared. 

I looked up the history once I realized how this individual has saved my life three times. 

I know little of who created the epidural because as I was reading about them, my children interrupted me with cries for snacks, attention, and love. I know they were male, a Spaniard, and a medic in a war. I know, like all mothers, they were not given credit where credit was due, and their idea was originally claimed by someone else (and eventually handed over posthumously). I know they helped ease dying people’s pain more than they saved lives. I know their efforts were valiant but more painful than the amputations they performed. 

The epidural has helped many mothers. An epidural, to me, is one of the most frightening yet pleasant gifts to receive. A body soother, a warm blanket, and a reprieve from labor pains that cause one to buck up their pain tolerance to endure what the body perceives as part of its universe. 

Laboring mothers go into a beast mode they’ve never known before. They become tolerant of the off-road racing happening in the lower body. The dirt ramps, the wheelies, the crashes into walls – the hips feel that. Part of them craves it. They deny needing an escape, brave enough to power on and see how bad it can actually get. In fact, it gets much worse. 

I received an epidural with all my children – once after I was fully dilated, in the thick of active labor, and afraid I would have the baby in the car, and twice in a methodical manner when the contractions started getting strong. Whenever I decided to take the plunge into numbness with the epidural, the experience was harrowing but a survival savior, nonetheless. 

The anesthesiologist arrives, big needles in hand and a gleam in their eyes. Most are dedicated to doing the stick with perfect poise, not knowing the patient in front of the rear patch of skin that stares at them with a fierce growl. They hope the patient commits to the posture and makes it possible for them to dig into the blank space in the back, pristinely reserved for a special fluid shared only by the brain and the spine. 

The anesthesiologist is cool as a cucumber, collected as a monk, focused like a person deactivating a bomb. They prep the area as if they were going to eat off your back. The chilled temperature of the alcohol amplifies the screams in your nerves. Your torso convulses as if you were dancing along to the second encore at a Led Zeppelin concert. 

“You are about to feel a sharp twinge,” they explain to you. It is the beginning of the end. The numbing flows into your back as they replace the small syringe with a large-bore needle. The needle is interested in consuming you, becoming a part of you. Wanting to insert itself into your business.

Along comes another contraction as they prepare to stick in the needle, the needle of which you do not know the length, but if you did know, you would know that it is longer than a mini-golf pencil. They are smart and watch the monitor, waiting for the proper time, waiting for the wave to wash away. 

By this time, you are breathing. Smelling the air as if the promise of a baby were entering your nose like a vapor of smoke. You try to stop the shaking. Thoughts enter your brain of your two girls in a grassy meadow. You are standing with them in a circle, breathing in and blowing out collectively, keeping a purple-tinged bubble the size of a washing machine up in the air. Inside the bubble is a flame, burning madly. Your breathing continues in the hospital bed because of these thoughts. The two girls calm you down. The shaking stops. Your breaths are in unison. 

“You are going to feel some pressure now,” they say. You brace yourself. Keep blowing up that bubble, whatever you do. If it pops, the flame will extinguish. You can do it. You have help with you – the girls have strong lungs. 

The lather of desensitization whips over your body like buttery silk, beginning in your back and spreading like a growing corona into your legs and lower body. The scent of relaxation overtakes your soul. You are one with the idea of not feeling the experience of childbirth. You’d rather be in numb harmony when the baby arrives. Focus all your energy on holding the human you’ve been unable to reach for nine months. 

The epidural was created by someone who cared, and just like my children, without even seeing them, I know I already love them.

The View From a Child

I hug my dog every morning, 

I pick her up, put her in my lap, and kiss her as if we’ve been separated for weeks, months, ages of time. She licks my face as I smoosh her paws together like an oatmeal cream pie. I scratch the heart-shaped white patch that grows in between her sleek, smooth coat – dark as coal and soft as velvet. 

As we continue our snuggles, she seems to get softer, turning into a pad of melted butter that slides from one side of my cradled arms to the other. Her curious brown eyes stare deep into mine as if she sees another universe – a better one. A more hopeful one.

I wonder if dictators have puppies.

I wonder if they hug them.

I wonder if they let them kiss their faces, sleep in their beds, or snuggle with them whenever they pass them in the house. 

Instead, do they mandate their time outside of the crate? Do they sequester their sleep to a separate space so they can glean from the power they have over the critter? Do they pride themselves if their dog can sit still while a squirrel passes? Do they leash them and take them everywhere, and upon returning home to the kingdom of lies, do they announce their tallies of faults and lash them with their justice? 

Thank you, owner. May I have another?

I wonder what they define as love.

I cuddle with my kids every day. My youngest comes to me in the morning during my sacred writing sessions, knowing she can snag a spot next to my left hip in the crevices of the couch and layers of quilts. She sucks her thumb and watches the words form on the screen while my brain warms and writes faster from her presence. My oldest slides down the stairs and announces her love for me and the child in my pregnant belly while we all place strong wishes into the world that this baby makes it to fruition.

I wonder if dictators love their babies.

I wonder if they wrestle with them and kiss their temples and cheekbones as if it could be the last time until someone whips out their right to bear arms in a school while they are learning how to read and write. 

I wonder if they let the children poke their sharp, dictator faces, touch their noses, squeeze their lips, and open up their eyelids while they fake being asleep, all to spark curiosity about the human body. I wonder if they offer them the platform to be themselves, to live the childhood most likely stolen or hidden away from them when they were in their youth. 

Or do they instead engrain them with fear of making mistakes? Do they pound senseless remarks of hate and stereotypes in their heads, making them believe they are the elite, the best of the best, the cream of the crop? Do they reiterate that hard work will get them everywhere unlike the rest of those fools out there who just take, take, take? Do they replace hugs with hard lessons of privilege? Do they disguise preaching hate as didactic on how to be a winner? Do they scorn failure and teach them to crave power like sugar cookies?

I wonder what fuels their heart.

I revel at nature everyday. I smile at trees and suck in air near pines and flowers. I try to get a daily walk in while I think out my story plots, exercise my furry children, and play I Spy with my human children. We pass by the same tree each day, but somehow it looks different every time. I remark to the kids how beautiful the mountains look while we drive to a museum or library, and they comment on how blue the sky is, how awesome the clouds look, or how breathtaking the color of the sunrise is that morning.

I wonder if a dictator marvels at landscape. I wonder if they relish in the hues of a particular painted cloud or breathe in crisp, clean mountain air when traveling to a city to gain more votes. Do they notice it all? Do they give thanks to Mother Nature for her empowering characteristics?

Or instead do they scope out the next place to rip out Mother’s uterus without her input? Do they focus on sniffing out a new plot of land for their next corporation? Do they calculate how much it would cost to take down the forest to get another shopping center or bank in place? Do they shake their heads at the amount of undocumented immigrants shaping up the landscape in a housing community, or do they think to themselves “We must be paying them too much,” while they pocket the difference for fear their riches could dissipate to less then seven zeroes.

I wonder what makes them grateful to be alive.

I wonder what their mother would think right now.

I wonder. 

Dear Canyon of the Daniel – A letter to my unborn child, written at 10 weeks pregnant.

Full disclosure, I’m now 28 weeks pregnant and feeling a little better, but not much.

Dear Canyon of the Daniel, or Daniel of the Canyon (No, the first one is better. That’s your real name, regardless of popular opinion).

As I sit and drink my allotted amount of coffee piled with whipped cream and cinnamon, wondering if I am overdoing it. I wonder if this is my last week hanging with you. I haven’t known you for long, you haven’t known me at all, but perhaps I am incorrect in my thinking and you’ve known me the entire time. After all, you are a parasite to my body, and you’ve done a splendid job making your presence known: Pukes in the morning, pukes in the evening, pukes at supper time, when pukes are with a bagel you can puke at any time. You’ve been a vociferous one, and I applaud you for that. 

Would I have it any other way? Maybe. It depends on how you would come out in the end. I think your bombastic way of announcing yourself means you have potential to scream through a megaphone without needing the equipment. I believe you will be the one to stop the madness, or start it, with your movements, keen notions, and extreme thirst for attention. Your lack of balance scares me, but it reminds me of myself. Your talents of making me cry at the shallowest of lyrics, to nail the high notes on Dolly’s “I Will Always Love You,” and your hunger for Shania, Celine, and Whitney make me feel comforted and safe. I will always love you, and I feel like you already know that. 

Will I do this again? Not a chance in hell. I would like my body back, I would like my life back. 

Will I continue this slew of tortuous months for you? Absolutely. In fact, if you swoop away in the darkness of night, chances are, I will talk myself into doing this again. But I won’t want to; I will fight myself tooth and nail not to do this again. It’s too much for me, and no one needs to see this happen again. It’s ugly. It’s pathetic. Frankly, it’s annoying to have to listen to my constant bitching. 

I need to part with my baby creation phase, but my goodness, I hope you make it. I hope I get it. I hope we get it. I hope you get it. You deserve it, my love. You have earned your place. 

I hope you find it better on the outside than the things you hear on the inside. It’s been relatively calm with you inside, stress-wise. I’ve managed to center myself more than I ever thought possible. I didn’t want to give you a raucous environment, you deserve better than the last one. I wanted to be a weightlifter while pregnant, but I realized you are lifting the weights for me, and I need not worry about reforming my habits once I get out of this pregnancy as I have built a strong foundation. 

I have traversed the deepest of places, and I have hiked, slithered, crawled, and thirsted through the canyon to get to you. 


You will be like a canyon – deep, full of crevices, mysterious, grandiose, yet delicate to minor changes in weather or atmosphere. You will feel more than you will prefer to, it’s not your fault, you are products of your father and me. We have enough sensitivity to fill a handle of whiskey and then some. You will hurt, probably more than I care to know about, but you will make something of it, because you will be reflective, sturdy (probably dirty too), and you will freak me out with your boy things. I am scared of you more than I thought I would be, I really wanted one of you early on and then got two tastes of feminism and became hooked. I think you will like the ones we made before you. I think you will lead them in unexpected ways, I think you will surprise them. 

The dogs know you are here, and they are waiting too. In the off chance you don’t make it, go find Scout and give her a big kiss. I’m sure you won’t have to look far. She’s probably waiting for you with a ball in her mouth. But selfishly, I hope you don’t see her before I do. She was mine first. 

I’m terrified to lose you, but somehow I can’t stop being excited about having you. I have this feeling you are going to make it, but I keep pretending like you won’t so I won’t be disappointed. I’ll be disappointed either way. It’s inevitable. 


I go to the bathroom twenty times a day, mostly to check for blood, but I haven’t seen any yet. 

I eat mainly breakfast burritos, buffalo chicken, pickle juice straight from the jar, tangy salsa, no cravings for sweets at all, except for the occasional ice cream cone or carrot cake. I love sub sandwiches, although I know they aren’t safe for me, somehow you convince me it’s alright. Actually, I just looked it up and Jimmy John’s sandwiches don’t have nitrites, which means I can eat them, and now I just want more. Stop it, sir. 

Carmella thinks you are the best. She says hello to you all the time, I’m sure you hear her and smile. She loves you, she wants you to be funny, so prepare for that. Colette likes to step on you to make sure you are paying attention. My theory is she is toughing you up for the outside world because of what she has been through. They both cherish you and loathe the fact you will steal their toys someday. They will teach you how to share, and you won’t have to share much if you get your own stuff. But we all share around here, so prepare yourself. 

Everyone is waiting, watching, biting fingernails, and counting down hours. I have never wanted time to go by so fast until I met you. I want these two weeks to be over so I know I might feel your kicks eventually. I ordered a heart monitor so I can listen to you without needing to wait for a dreaded doctor’s appointment. Sadly, they never cared about you from the start. You are a prehistoric baby who gets care from the deep unknown. I’ve had to fight to know who you are, and I’m okay with that. We made it work, we always will.

Love you, Canyon of the Daniel. As your great-grandmother said about her husband, your middle name, and the Daniel you originated from and seep the love of in a constant manner, “Your help is love,” and I believe you are here to help us all. 

Sincerely,
Your crazy ass mom who doesn’t know what she is doing but pretends she does and tries her damndest.

Come Out From Under Your Shel

Originally published in Twenty Bellows Welcoming The Muse: Meta and Other Forms (2024)

Photo credit: Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

If you were to ask who pushed me along in this world,

it’d be Dylan, King, Croce, and Seuss with their swirls,

and Harrison, Berry, Elton, and Tarantino,

for being brave and showing how to tango

with the ones who don’t get it; same with Dahl, Aurelius,

Poe, Grisham, Irving, Sandler, and Chris Farlius.

If I returned as a man, a man with a plan, 

I’d find Steinbeck, Hendrix, Churchill, and then

I’d round up the strong women I lost on the shelf,

for I’m an ill-tempered female raised by more than one wolf.

Sure, these inspirational men have shown me the way,

but why am I feeling so left out today?

It’s possibly because I’ve forgotten my manners,

like mentioning Alice, Harper, and glamours

of being women; fierce, bitchin’ ladies,

for I am one too: bold, outspoken, not dainty.

With fear of retribution, backlash, and whips,

we face our masters and claw back with quips.

We are banshees in shackles, our cycles in sync

with the moon and each other, defying groupthink.

To the losers who assume we cannot lift our own pounds,

may we remind you who’s spun up such sounds.

Praise be to Aretha, Eudora, and Agatha,

Ayn, Teresa, Serena, Diana, 

Pat Summitt, and Sylvia who left us to swoon,

Toni, Jackie, and Maya Angelou.

Hail Joan, Michele, Gloria, Joni, and Dolly,

Bey, Taylor, and Megan Mullally,

because how did Meg manage to find her a man

who levitates when fishing and hunts with his hands?

Ron Swanson: the true inspiration for me.

Every steakhouse he walks to he eats at for free.

But what about Shel, lest we forget

his words and his tunes, a Deepness vet.

For that is the life I want to be living –

Absorbing what Silverstein says about giving,

and to be inclusive, strong-willed, and brave,

to show my children how to see with range.

Alas, I come back to the top of my addendum –

I wish I could focus and be more like all of them.

The Balancing Act

People exist all over the place –
painters, writers, astronauts in space.
They grow as a seed in the smallest of spots.
Their character forms designs on their pots.

They sprout limbs, eyes, brains, and feelings.
Their organs operate without getting a teaching.
Emotions stir until they get their way.
They analyze, conceptualize, and fret about their day.

Somewhere in the desert in a canyon made of granite,
crackly creatures coalesce in crevices with currents.
Their feet move like peppercorns falling on pavement.
Their hair runs ratty, long, tangled, and impatient.

These creatures start out as tiny dewdrops,
within years they stretch wider and taller than treetops.
Their noses stick up straight, their bellies out large.
Their lips stay as frowns, their eyes bulge like a barge.

These are the Donnies, and although they frighten,
they’ve never been given the love to enlighten.
Cowering in thick shells, seeking the crown,
the Donnies express with anger and put downs.
Alas, it is simply not their fault, you see,
they’ve not been conditioned to feel very free.

The Donnies only know hate, strife, and madness,
confusion, anxiety, pride, inner sadness.
They believe if they stepped on faces of others,
they’d climb to the top, get applause from their mothers.
They set out for the backwoods to seize and conquer,
the Donnies packed lightly, with only their armor.

But in another corner a sweet stink did rise,
as the Dillies watched the Donnies with tears in their eyes.
For they were raised by love and good humor.
They laughed to heal wounds, they sang as they labored,
they ziplined through canyons, their fears of heights falling
into the deep burrows, their confidence rising.

The Dillies acted with intention and heart,
they softened their tempers with small acts of art,
they handmade their clothing, they discussed how to cook,
they worked as a team, they co-wrote this book.
They understood that time, tact, and talent
can all go to waste if you leave it in solace.
You have to step back to the time and the place,
and see the kid in the room with “the look” on their face.
That determined look of getting somewhere.
The diligence, discipline, vulnerability to share.

Some Dillies started out as Donnies, you see,
They were pushed in the canyon and out fled their glee.
Life was much easier to move without kindness
To yell and insult and resort to harshness
Hate was accessible, anger within reach.
No accountability, no practicing the preached,
Books seemed too lengthy, thinking hurt their hooves.
It was easier to follow and be told the next move.

A handful of Dillies climbed out in the night.
Overthrowing the normal, igniting the light
of love, trust, equality, unity, and hope,
of giving, understanding, of helping to cope
through differences and dynamics tough and raw;
the Dillies neither bit nor sharpened their claws.
Instead they asked questions, their curiosity spread,
eyes lit up when new facts hit their heads.

Think for yourself, who do you want to be?
A carer, a follower, a prover of things?
A kind one, a bored one, a blooming flower so free?
A free thinker, a stinker, a cutter of trees?
Beware of the Donnies who force you to care
about nonsense, materials, concealing the bare.
Think twice when you dis art and sad poetry.
Am I a Donnie, a Dilly, or maybe just me?

The Unspoken Land – From Spill Your Guts and Use Your Words

Most of your friends
know of their names.
Others say they are
privates or shames.
But I know they serve
an important purpose,
so much so that
we do them a disservice
by hiding them in
the drawers and closets,
just come out and say them,
the names of the four “its.”

There’s the butt, the penis,
vagina, and boobs.
The gang’s all there
and the humor is lewd.
They mostly go by safe names
people dub them
when they discuss the stuff
that’s going to outlive them.

Why must we muffle
these beautiful creatures?
They are as much
a part of our features
as the face, the shoulders,
the tip-top of the skull,
but they can be misused
and abused,
made hurtful.

Some people start
with a female part,
but then they flip
and a male they start.
A they or a them,
a he or a she,
it doesn’t quite matter
who you’re meant to be
as long as you love
and are kind to your peers,
for no one should dictate
life’s cheers, jeers, and fears.

Others remain
A woman or man
and love their own kind
and stick with their clan.
Man crushes on guy,
lady treasures a gal,
you do you,
don’t get caught in the trowel
of hate, hypocrisy,
bias, and mean;
to try and understand
is the best way to glean.

So if you can find
a safe place to spill
your guts, your feels,
your flailing free will,
keep these in the back,
unless needed to hack,
the code of life,
which could bring you strife.

You might use these tools,
to ward off fools,
or to keep your cools,
or to spin your spools,
but whatever you do,
don’t use them to drool.
Take great care,
preserve them like jewels.

My Veins – A Poem from Spill Your Guts and Use Your Words

This one goes out to all the vampires and labbies out there.

Keep on sticking and keep that microscope lit.

I used to think
the blue strings in my wrists
were sparkly mirages,
not roads that take twists.

Through my body they carry
my blood to and fro;
my veins and arteries,
swoosh, swirl, and flow.

But then I got older
and found that my veins
are keys to locked doors;
my veins hold the reins.
My bloodwork tells secrets;
big ones, in fact.
Such as how much I need
to drink water to last.
Or how much I should walk,
how hard I should try
to push myself further
and make myself fly.

Neutrophils, lymphocytes,
microscope, show me the light.
Leukemia creeps.
Anemia is cheap.
Go on, platelets,
pile on in a heap.

I tried running blindly
from the vampiric lives
that came quickly at me
with needles and knives,
but they tackled me down,
tourniquet so tight,
jabbed ever so gently,
I felt not one bite.

Now I am floating,
only able to enter
if invited in
to the heart’s red center.
My lab tests disclosed
my current state of living.
I think I’ll go back
to donate and keep giving.

My Feet – A Poem from Spill Your Guts and Use Your Words

I attempt to trample
Ten thousand steps each day,
It’s struggling yet fulfilling,
My shoes they start to fray,
The bones in my feet,
They ache and complain,
The muscles persisting,
Feeling no refrain.

My feet are my livelihood,
My solo means of movement
If they are to turn off,
I’d still find a way in.
A wheelchair,
A stroller,
Skateboard or scooter,
Anything that rolls,
And keeps me uprooted.

One day I’ll get strength
To walk ‘round the globe,
To traverse the Pyramids,
The Cape of Good Hope.
Glide on the Great Wall
Stroll the Taj Mahal,
Hop over cherry blossoms
In Japan as they fall.
Skip through the Colosseum,
Hike the Grand Canyon,
Tiptoe softly through
the Tower of London.
Tap dance in Stonehenge,
Stomp in the caves
Of Patagonia, Easter Island,
Peru’s frothy waves.
I’ll gallop in Greece,
Trot through Barcelona,
Parade through Sydney,
Roll out of Roma,
Race sheep in New Zealand,
Bury toes in the sand
Deep in the Sahara,
Death Valley and Moab.
The journey will round me
And offer me growth.
I’ll walk where I want to,
I’ll admire not loathe.

Saunter, stride,
Traipse, and tread,
I’d walk until
My feet were dead
If it meant
I could fully immerse
In the pockets and folds of
Mother Nature’s purse.

So paint your toes,
Massage your feet,
Give those tarsals
Good pieces of cleat,
To stand on,
To walk on,
To go through the day
Your feet need your kindness,
Not focus astray

These two little darlings
Hold you upright,
They grow funky toenails
They get cold at night.
Or sometimes get sweaty
When in front of a crowd,
Or trip over sticks
When hiking above clouds.

They can cramp and break,
Sprain and pose,
Rub them and slather
On lotion with rose.
They deserve the best kicks,
They hold up your knees,
Tickle your feet, go on,
Give them a squeeze.

I’ll Be Doggone

*Title stolen from a cool Marvin Gaye song you should listen to right now.*

What if people came back as dogs?
The Poodles, Labradoodles, Shih Tzus, and Pugs?
Slathering, lathering, sopping up love,
Won’t you,
Why don’t you,
Pick my poop up with gloves?

If dogs were people, would life be less dense?
Would we lick our wounds or bark at the fence?
Would we wag our tails at the beauties of life?
Or chase down the tennis ball to forget our strife?
Would we knock over drinks with our butts so round?
Or stare at the door when we heard a strange sound?
Would we drink from a bowl and eat with no hands?
Or scarf down tough grasses and poop them in strands?

If I were a dog, I think I’d join a band
Of barkers and snarlers and growlers and then
I’d roll in gross mud, I’d eat your new thong,
I’d drool on your clothes, I’d gag on a bone.
I’d run to and fro in the fields with long grasses,
I’d smell daffodils and sniff new dog asses.
I’d love ‘til I couldn’t, I’d kiss, scratch, and itch,
I’d steal kid’s stuffed animals and make them my bitch.
I’d hump uncontrollably ‘til my owner says stop,
Then I’d look at them innocently until they flip-flopped,
On letting me work out my instinctual needs,
If I were a dog, I’d avoid getting fleas.

If dogs were people, there would be purebreds,
High in their towers eating sweetbreads,
The mixed and the rescues would party at the bottom
And give not two shits for the ones on the mountain,
For one shit is plenty enough to inhale,
If dogs were people, the mutts wouldn’t care
As long as they had their ball, stick, and rope
For that is enough to survive, thrive, and hope.

Strong-boned, meaty shoulders, and all of our butts
would wiggle with joy as our tails went nuts.
Dogs are the leaders of love and true whims,
If I were a dog I’d come back for free swims.

Keep Going

I sit and recalibrate.
Remember who I was before.
Who I have become
Who I want to be.
Who I remain.

I am not that big,
Not that smart,
Not entirely motivated all the time,
But I’m fierce,
I’ll rip your face off with my energy,
I’ll pull your facade down with my tenacity,
I’ll smash the preconceived notions
That I have it better than the rest of them
That I have more time to make it happen
That I have more money or more support
That I have it easier and that’s why I’m able to push through.
But that’s all bullshit and they know it too.

I’m strong because I want to be,
Not because of the circumstances,
I am lucky as hell, though.
But I use it.
I work hard because I want to,
Not because of who told me to
Or who’s standing in front of me that I want to impress.
I work hard to astound myself.

People say I have it better
But I suffer at the bottom with the rest.
The only difference is
I’m in my corner chipping away at the wall of my cell block,
While the others focus on every cell but theirs
And how they can steal within the cell.
And how they can get it easier without having to go through the trouble.
Without having to pay the money.
Without having to put in the time.

I’m busting out of the cell,
That’s the difference,
I’m not confined to the barriers put in front of me.
I defy all odds and greet everyday with a “Hell yeah,” and a “Fuck you too”
Sometimes both together.

The Fuck You Too days take my time up more than the Hell Yeahs.
They are the ones that push me until I’m blue in the face,
The ones trying to make me feel something
Or make sense of what the hell just happened.
But I don’t usually find out the reasoning until months, maybe years after.
I trust I will see it eventually, and that is why I do it.
I know it will pay me back.
It is as relentless and batshit crazy as I am.
A rubber band of kindness, reverberating in years to come from all the deeds done today.

The Hell Yeahs are worth every penny but come few and far between.
They consume you while you are in them but last shorter than the rest.
They sometimes stop you dead in your tracks during the Hell Yeah time,
Bringing you back to the Fuck You Too Days, taking you down once again.

I will live for the Hell Yeahs but will normalize to the Fuck You Too.

Fuck you, too.

Stick Your Tongue Between the Slat

This
Those
These
That
Stick your tongue
Between the slat
Of your teeth
Those pearly whites,
Say it, spray it,
Cling your tongue tight,

Then push it against
The top of those teeth,
Get the thick tongue
Up off its seat.

If you shove
Your tongue enough,
It might knock
Your head back some,
That’s okay,
You’ve got the knack,
Keep practicing
‘Til it’s down pat.

Say these sentences
With a friend
Down a path
Where you both blend.

Through the woods,
Then the creek
Thistles won’t tickle you
On the cheek,

They would rather,
Think and gather,
By those knees,
Thick as thieves.

They bathe me in
Fake thorns so thin.
I thanked my brother,
For calling our mother.

Say it now and say it proud,
These and those
They and thou,
The and there
Then and how
Did we do it
In three seconds flat?
Or was it just a fifth of that?
I think my math needs a little hat,
Or how about a thinking cap?

Here’s another one for you
A clever little ditty-doo.

I wonder if the moth beneath
Is stealthy enough to fly so free.

That then, there,
I think this thought
Is bathing in
The Earth’s big pot
Of truth and birth,
A frothy broth.
Oh finally, finally,
We freed the sloth.

If thou hath bathed
The filth from thee,
Then thou must oath
To doeth the deed
Of working on the T-H sound,
To talk clear to others
That hang around.

I Bought a Crystal Singing Bowl (Alternatively titled: You Do You, But Please Don’t)

This could offend people?

I once believed
All it would take
Was a good attitude
And a piece of cake
To share with my friends
When we get up to heaven
But I was sadly
And terribly mistaken

I found it took fear
And greed and lust
Hiding secrets in the corner
Pretending to be just
Talking more than acting
Less factual, more matter-of-factly.
Standing straight in line,
Saying thank you, feeling fine.

I learned it wasn’t in the books
The looks, the songs, the hymns, the cooks
No it was only in my heart,
Where Jesus didn’t lurk, just art.
It was all me, myself, and I
And will continue until I die.
For only I contain the power
It takes to eliminate the sour
Taste in your mouth from all the years
Those people told you how to steer.

I bought a crystal singing bowl
To help me with my angry growl
Instead my children bang the gong
Urging me to sing along
Our throat chakras clear, whatever that means
They did it themselves, the bowl was a sheen,
Although powerful, beautiful, molded with care,
The bowl has no answer, it’s all inside there,
Yeah, you, I’m talking about you, nobody else around,
Don’t sell yourself short, you’ve made your own sound.
You have the power, the hunger, the thirst,
Use it to pull someone else out the dirt,
Instead of pushing them down the tube
With “need tos,” “have tos,” “shoulds,” and “coulds.”
Think about the hooves waiting to stomp in your shoes
They’re dancing so hard they’ll beat you out of your blues.

If you’re cold, dreary, weary, or doomed.
God will not give you his coat to stay warm,
He’ll only show you what you did wrong,
And how if you follow him you are absolved of your song.
But your song is what makes you who you are,
Don’t lose or ignore it, understand all its scars,
It’s bruised, black, and blue, but it sings just the same,
Remember there are no instructions for this game.

That big-belted preacher will tell you it’s wrong,
Will force your hand to the collection plate from the bong.
So choose where to cultivate your energy and must,
Sometimes the ones dressed nice have the most rust
Underneath their facades, ask the right questions
They’ll stumble and stutter, for they forgot to fudge them.

I am no god, no genius, no sage,
But I do know time slips fast with age,
The bubbles and bracelets that sparked your eyes
Now a lengthy bill, you assess the size.
Take the time to breathe in the air,
It’ll never deceive you or tell you to care
About something else they deem as number one
Get out of the tangle of being a drone.

You can buy a fancy bowl, you can sing to the skies,
At the end of the day we are all just guys
Or gals, or theys, or in-betweens,
We were all born with useless-ish spleens
That give out with age, no matter what
You might as well spend time on what tickles your butt.

Gale the Snail: Or how I learned to stop worrying and start imitating Dr. Seuss

Each night a snail gets ahold of my mail,
She reads to the extent her heart is content
She mellows and stews about daily past news
And when she is through she spews from the blues.

This fanciful snail is called Gale Ishmael,
She comes from a land full of mountains and sand
The snow comes aplenty, but never the rain,
And when she gets cold, she crawls over to Spain.
Never by foot that would be quite a toot,
But only by clinging to backpacks and tails.

Gale’s shell is made of a common bite,
She once dreamt of decorating it like a flamboyant kite,
She clung to her quest when she discovered a nest,
Full of pencils, earth’s treasures, and flowers pressed.
A little girl’s once, abandoned from time,
She rubbed against a perfect stick, the color of lime.

The shades dazzled her more than they meant to doom
Gale whisked the utensils over, under, and through,
Until she felt covered enough to cut ties
With the pencils that fell in her lap from the skies.

Now whenever Gale is out and about
She hears chirps on her frills and dredges up clout,
For not many snails have intricate scales,
She cheers to the sky while her oddities wail. 

One day she was scooting her way into town,
Her pal mantis stalked by, wearing a frown,
Said snail to mantis, “What aches you old buddy?”
Said mantis to snail, “My feet are all muddy. 
I traversed through the forest instead of the air,
My coat is filthy; other creatures, they stare.”

“Do you think they glare because they look down?”
Said the snail to the sobbing, green lad with a frown.
“From my point of view, they seek to know more,
Our skills, our strategies. Don’t underscore.
Like how did we get the patterns just right?
My friend, they are wanting to be shown the light.

Instead of drooping and walking acrook,
Think of the lessons you’ve gained from the looks,
Transfer the energy to something ahead,
Like a new set of tricks or a talk with a friend.
We all have a soul to feed and elate
It’s up to you to levitate.
Show the world you’ve got the magic,
Most of all, show yourself you have it.”

The mantis was stunned, still sad but intrigued
He’d never been told to change a darn thing. 
He thought he was fine, just floating along,
But a mantis is nothing without their true song
Not singing of course, they never crone long
But their style, profile, their deterrent from wrong.
They sit, they sway, pondering life in itself,
They bring luck, they bring wonder, they tighten their belt.

The mantis thought deeply about the snail’s words
Then he hopped on a leaf and sailed to a world
Of a not so distant future where he planted the seed
In a tree where a snail would find an imminent need
To take on the world no matter what they say,
For today is the day to go the right way.

Tree People Are Free People

What if people returned as trees?
Their hair color matching the hues of the leaves.
Pine, poplar, redwood, and bonsai,
Now Penny, Patricia, Remington, and Sly.
Their personality coming through the stems and the crooks
Of the branches they climbed as young fools with looks.
Twisted and stretched to match their jest
Knicks, knobs, or knocks showed changes and rest.

What if trees came back as people?
Callused toes rooted, brains so fruitful.
The Hollies, Willows, Ashes, and Oaks,
Would have no need to modify cloaks.
Previously bathing in dirt and flower,
Now craving control and rapacious for power,
Dirt patch once sat in, now rushed with a flood
Of new sensations racing as blood.

What if trees and people were one?
Hugging, swaying, and dancing among.
Choices made based on love and peace,
Giving would flourish, stealing would cease,
Trees grow together, diverse and unique,
Collaborating, understanding, a volcano of Think.
The soft forest floor and the clear air so thin.
What if the outside was always within?
If people and trees were on the same level
Would we grow like weeds or live to be civil?